An Afternoon With Men In Make-Up

Nope, not been down Madame Jo-Jo's, but at the cinema.

We had a very pleasant excrutiatingly long 20 minutes

of trailers and adverts before the film. 

 One of them was Sam Taylor-Wood's Equals short film,

with Mr Craig All Dressed Up In A Frock And Everything.

Looks a bit alright in make-up with the short hair doesn't he! 

 

There was also a trailer for the new Keef film.

Well, ok, Johnny's film. Pirates of the Caribbean.

Made a mental note that the new Horrid Henry could be almost bearable,

as Noel Fielding popped up in the trailer. He is often wearing make-up too.

And then the film began, with this 19 year old actor being all Pete Doherty:

Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2, with guylinered Devon Bostick.


As some readers may have noticed, I like to comment on the quality of toilets at some of the venues I visit; shopping centres, ice rinks, cinemas. Such a hectic social life... Today's Toilet Report is that the loos were very glam; spaciously laid out, with very touchy feely fittings and surfaces. Although the hand dryers were not exactly conveniently located, so a minus point for ergonomics.

Guess Where I Went Yesterday!

Can you guess what it is yet?

There was pretty lighting......

 ..... there was a (former?) children's tv presenter.....

...... and a panel of judges..... 

 ..... one of them was Christopher Biggins!!!

 
 (more about the cutey in the pink vest later)




Yes, it was Dancing On Ice! At the Nottingham Capital FM Arena, where the loos are Not As Good As Westfield's. And the capuccino's a bit rubbish too.



 Look. Famous people!

  ....famous people being waved at, in an out-of-focus way


 ... famous people facing The Wrong Way


 ..... And Vanilla Ice! He'd taught his partner to rap, graffitti and buy cars off eBay.


Unfortunately he decided to jump up on a ramp and do some cringey rapping mid-act. Nevermind...

The bloke off Radio 1. They were doing something involving the Dreaded Line Dancing

The lovely Johnson Beharry. VC.

 And Chloe Madeley. Upside down. Her mum was in, apparently. Well, anyway some woman shouted "Come on Chloe"

 Some bloke off EastEnders. Who's been winning. A lot.

And afterwards, in a disorganised bunfight-in-the-carpark-kind-of-affair...

...... we saw the top of Vanilla Ice's head. Look at the woman in the purple jumper, then look at her cuff. He's there.

Karen was a sweetie - she spoke to my son as he was milling about shyly, ducking behind people.

And Colin man-in-pink-vest, a 25 year old Canadian pro dancer, spent AGES chatting to people. He's a darling. He was alarmingly stage-made-up-fake-tanned. I told him he made us feel a bit pale.



A Kitchen And A Catsuit

Thursday

• Found unfilled hole in wall after men had gone, where dishwasher pipe had been taken out. Big enough for assorted minibeasts, and possibly a blackbird or two, to enter the house, so out with a bucket of mix-it-yerself external filler.
• Hoovered a bit.
• To make the walls look less like Al Capone* had been round, filled all holes left by removal of cupboards and shelves so from a distance they look better.
• Cooked pizzas - but blaming relocation of oven, rather than not keeping an eye on the time, for the fact they got ever-so-slightly burnt.
• *Do we like the Al Capone-esque bullet points?

Friday

• Felt that it was impossible to go to work as I was aching all over, from pre-refurb moving of EVERYTHING and from the generally unrelaxing hovering I had been doing during Thursday. Note, that is all-day HOVERING, not hoovering... my plan to retreat to the front room to watch sneaky and copious amounts of 60 Minute Makeover et al was scuppered by The Men putting 3 massive toolboxes in there, preventing access to sofas as the room Is That Small and from the constant leaving open of the front door. And it was too cold to sit outside in the garden away from it all. Instead I alternated between hovering with the laptop in a corner of the dining room, and blitzing the 12 year old's room.
• Pulled myself together and went to work, as I was being a bit of a wimp and really had no excuse for trying to slack off.
• Loitered around the market on the way home, resisting anything I'd have to find house-room for in my newly-discovered Less Is More mode, and bought necklaces instead.
• And bought a new drainer rack for the sink - the boyfriend says the sink is a caravan one. T'is not, so there. It's just spacially economical.
• Set to cleaning underneath of the 2 existing wall cupboards with white vinegar. Easy.
• Put all the mugs into a cupboard. A whole cupboard. This is worrying.
• Moved the kettle. To nearer the sink. This is an improvement on previous foot mileage.
• Put the clock back up.

Saturday

• Went off by train to a large swanky shopping centre - ok, it was Westfield, as the teenage recluse was up for going out, following the Amazing Success of the mid-week new school visit and voluntary haircut experience.
• Had calming expectations of snapping up some nice ovenware, to progress the new kitchen.
• Impressed by the poshness and design of the toilets. Better than yer average encounter.
• Swooned in Schuh, luvverly shop with fabulous, gorgeous, ridiculous erm... shoes. And excellent sales staff. Window shopping for me, as we were buying converse for the teenager.
• Sales staff experience reversed altogether in New Look. Very Couldn't Be Bothered ethos. Not good. Hoodie and t-shirt purchased, for 12 and 13 year old respectively.
• Which meant bags. Argument about who was carrying them. Not me.
• Shopping fatigue kicking in, further arguments about where to have lunch.
• Re-discovering the stereo effect that is walking in between 2 children and both of them talking to me at once.
• Lunch then ice creams. Neither of them would hold my ice cream, so no popping into charity shops. In truth, I was scared to, in the Less Is More frame of mind, as Where Would I Put anything I might have found?
• Finally, I bought something - a mini-tube of handcream. £1.10. I am cheap to take out.
• Wasted by the time we got back so flopped down with the papers, then cooked dinner whilst re-siting the cutlery drawer. So many useless, forgotten things in there - many, many beer bottle-openers and random vegetable peelers. Will have a cull. Another day.
• And then watched Mama Mia. Which was worth seeing, if only for Colin Firth in a tight blue spangly catsuit at the end. Why had I never known about that?

update:- following The Great Blogger Outtage of May 2011, I noticed the colin-in-a-catsuit photo I could have sworn I'd originally posted had gone. I had to search high and low to get this pic; I am starting to suspect that Mr Firth's People may have issued some sort of retrospective super-injunction to suppress said images of Their Man. Were Mr Firth's People and the blogger outtage mysteriously linked while the former scoured blogs for any incriminating evidence???